his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize