Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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