he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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