I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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