He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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