Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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