Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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