I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize