you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize