We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize