He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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