My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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