i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
honey bunches of taint.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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