i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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