she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize