Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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