There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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