Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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