I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize