dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
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You are a booty call, not a friend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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