I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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