as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize