You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize