Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im holly from the hills drunk
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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