you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize