I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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