and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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