Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just gift wrapped bread.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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