You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize