my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We had to coat check the pizza.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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