I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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