singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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