he thought i was a dude.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
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Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize