Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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