I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where is the hickey?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize