God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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