about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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