Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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