Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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