i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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