I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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