1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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