Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
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I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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