the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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