How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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