just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize