I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize