White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize