i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
