Dual....:-)
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize